The Thinkmaya Blog: Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness
Davina
· 11 months ago
Hi Maya. Good for you for climbing out of your ditch. Your parents played a role in digging this ditch. But you obviously believed enough in yourself to see the light and climb towards it.
Don't laugh, but I like ditches. :-) I learned at an early age from my mother... that in a storm, such as a tornado, a ditch is a safe place to be. Weird eh? And when I think of ditches they appeal to my senses and I automatically link my awareness to the smell of fresh earth -- I love that smell. So in my case I have a lasting impression that ditches are good places.
Nothing's worse than hitting a low where you doubt yourself and worse, it seems lie fate's against you.
You paint a great picture of the mind and spirit.
I've definitely been in scenarios where I hit ditches I didn't think were possible. I had always felt somewhat protected. The reality is I had lucked into success often enough, I didn't know what I didn't know.
I love it when the right lens and the right skills change the game.
Hi Maya: What an ordeal, I'm glad you got out of that ditch OK (and, of course, no story is really complete without an astrologer :-) ). This reminds me of an article I read that explained that in the martial arts they teach you how to fall. Also, when you're training to be a comedian, they teach you what to do in case a joke flops. That is, they know ahead of time that you're going to fall or flop at some point, they prepare you for it, and they give you a strategy to get yourself back up. And that's what you've explained here, and you're absolutely right!
Barbara Swafford
· 11 months ago
Hi Maya - You did great, pulling yourself out of that ditch. I do agree though that often other peoples baggage can affect us. Too often what we want to do goes against their grain (of what they want us to do), and if we're not careful others can use their influence to steer us into a direction that may not be the best for us.
Thanks for the great tips. Falling into ditches is no fun.
Indeed, ditches can be safe places sometimes. I like being in the dumps - especially when I know that it won;t last too long. I try to use it as an opportunity to recharge! I will try to remember your perspective of a ditch the next time I am in one - that might make it easier for me to get out :)
Hi JD, Happy New Year ! So true - life is not about knowing everything but about knowing what we do not know, isn't it?
Hi Mare! What a wonderful analogy - learning to fall in Martial Arts and teaching how to deal with flop jokes?? Metaphorically, I guess the ditches of life apply to many many places ...thank you so much for sharing that!
Hi Barbara, You have been through so much in life, I guess you understand all about being affected by another person's baggage .... But what really amazes me is how much of that is so unintentional, really. It is always simplest when we take complete responsibility and decide our own actions, isn't it?
I used to blame others or external events that put me in my ditches and then one fine day, I realized that I was solely responsible for digging them myself. If I got in there, I had to find a way out.
Nowadays, I don't hang around in my ditches for too long. Life is too short! I find it more fun to be outside!
I like the idea of being prepared for ditches. Having the right tools and equipment will definitely come in handy! Thanks for the tip!
hey maya, this story resonated well here.... i am currently in the final year of my engineering from Panjab University, chandigarh, india... i had failed in the Engineering drawing course in the 2nd semester of my 1st year.... but then i failed again in the 5th semester because of shortage of attendance :P ... this is not all, i had a pretty bad run of luck after that ... finally things are falling in place and i hope to obtain my engineering degree in time...
AND YES RUDYARD KIPLING'S POEM - IF , REALLY HELPED ME THROUGH THESE TIMES ... thanx kipling bhai !!
Hi Maya, The ditches...and engineering school - boy, can I relate!! I recall going off to college, all set to earn my engineering degree and take on the world. And then I ended up in an economics class, missed a couple of days early on - and and all of a sudden - our first test - and I failed miserably. Coming from high school, and having done really pretty good there - this was a major blow. First semester. Starting out with a failed test. It WAS a hard ditch to crawl out of...And one I didn't see the lesson in until many years later. The lesson was persevere, for me...
Anyway, you really bring up a great point - we will have ditches along the way. Being prepared for them does help them not seem so deep, and getting out is much easier. So, now I need to think about where the potential ditches are for me.
Congrats on getting memetales up and going - I'll be over to check it out!
And, thanks for the link here today, Maya - I really appreciate it very much!
Here's to a great year ahead for you and in all your endeavors!!
Hi Evelyn, Welcome back! Isn't it funny how we dig so many of the ditches ourselves??? We should have learnt by now right ?? It got a lot easier for me as well - once I stopped blaming others and myself and just focused on getting out :)
Hi Ankur!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I wish you the very best - now and always. Just work hard, do your best and take responsibility for everything you do - things will work out just fine :) and you will learn a LOT in the meantime. Take care!! And yess - I LOVE Kipling's poem -"IF" :) - thank you for bringing that back to me !
Lance! Thank you so so much for sharing your story! I do think a LOT has to do with the changed landscape when we move away from high school and get into a professional school ...I had done so very well academically so far that I could not fathom anything like that could ever happen! But things certainly got better - yes, perseverance was a big lesson for me too :) And do check out Memetales and help spread the word please ;) And you write with so much passion on your website - a lot of what I write is inspired by your posts - so it is an honor for me to link back to you ...so you keep on inspiring - okee ?? :)
I always enjoy reading your posts. You do a wonderful job of sharing your experiences and making your point with them. I especially endorse this wisdom, "all the ditches have a little staircase leading back up."
Ankur, You do have a lovely blog. Thank you for the invite ...I apologize for not getting there earlier :)
Hi Tom, Thank you! I wish you a wonderful 2009 as well!
Very Evolved
· 11 months ago
Hi Maya, I like your concept of ditchiness, certainly something we can all relate to. The way the brain process learning and memory is actually very closely tied to failing. If we fail at something, we get emotional or experience pain and it has an impact on our lives, hence a memory is laid down and the learning process begins. It is therefore essential we fail often (and fast) so our brains understand that what we are trying to learn is actually important and it can then attach significance to it. Anything with significance then gets a lot of attention from our brain and we get better at it.
As children we failed at everything all the time. We fell over all the time before we could walk, and even then it's years before we have any real coordination. The only thing that's changed is that there is a stigma attached to failing as we get older.
Hey Maya, thanks for the mention, first of all! And secondly, I love the uniqueness of this post. This is stuff we can ALL relate to. Since reading this post I realized that I had left my 'Ditch Communication Device' on standby. I'm turning that thing on RIGHT NOW! :-) Eric.
Hi Patrick, Welcome to ThinkMaya. And thank you for the wonderful explanation. BTW, I love your blog and I will be back there to participate :)
What you say reminds me that I need to let my children fail - fast. I also need to help them figure out how to pick themselves up :) Is there a way you suggest I do this? I mostly follow "letting go" - I let them experiment and try things and when in trouble I "will point them in the right direction" so they can figure out what is right. Ofcourse, I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, so I ain't seen nothing yet ;) ...do let me know if you have suggestions ...Thank you :)
Hi Eric!
hey, you guys are so cool, how could I not give you a mention?? All the best to the both of you - and am glad you are carrying that "Ditch Communication device" ;)
Maya, thanks for visiting my site! As for your question:
With all forms of learning the human brain is brilliant at figuring things out for itself, but humans are even better at observing how others do things and mimicking their actions - no need for every Stone Age man to discover fire independently, all alone by themselves, much more efficient to copy what works!
Since I don't have kids, I think the best source of information on your question is not myself, but would would suggest instead that that you be the one learning from other parents and mimicking what you see works :)
Thanks for sharing this story. I'd never thought about life in terms of ditches, and it's a useful concept.
I think the first time I fell in a ditch was when I failed my driving test. I'd never failed in anything before until then. So I know how you felt with the engineering paper. Awful! Now I can laugh about it (not until I took the test another two times till I passed though!) and even my most daredevil male friends admit I'm a good driver. So I guess I recovered, and am glad you have too. Thanks for a very sincere and authentic post.
Great post, Maya. I was thinking recently about what I'd do if I fell in a ditch unexpectedly. I need to consider some escape plans and worst case scenarios--my tools. :-) Thanks for reminding us that not everything goes as planned!
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Still Life in Buenos Airess last blog post..Crossing the Andes</abbr>
Nathalie Lussier
· 11 months ago
I loved learning about your Engineering story. I studied Engineering too, and there were times where I probably felt like you did. I too wasn't at the top, nor at the bottom.
I thought the story about the fortune teller was extremely interesting. Isn't it weird how sometimes just knowing these things seems to influence how we feel & act? Maybe that's what makes it "work", because it changes our actions. ;) I'm glad you got out of your ditch! :)
Hey, it is really really nice to see you here after a while :) It is so true - what you say about how what we know influences how we act ...but thankfully it did not pull me down in this case - it turns out that I am not THAT bad afterall ;) But you made a very true point here ....I wonder what the solution to that is ...I always think a lot about how ignorance is really wonderful in so many situations!
My first time visiting your blog. This is a great post. I think that it is particularly important right now as there are many people "in a ditch" with being out of work and perhaps being bored by this. I can see that your blog is a great resource!
All Comments
Don't laugh, but I like ditches. :-) I learned at an early age from my mother... that in a storm, such as a tornado, a ditch is a safe place to be. Weird eh? And when I think of ditches they appeal to my senses and I automatically link my awareness to the smell of fresh earth -- I love that smell. So in my case I have a lasting impression that ditches are good places.
Thank you for sharing about The Quote Effect.
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Davinas last blog post..The Quote Effect: Naughty, Nice & Niche Bloggers</abbr>
Nothing's worse than hitting a low where you doubt yourself and worse, it seems lie fate's against you.
You paint a great picture of the mind and spirit.
I've definitely been in scenarios where I hit ditches I didn't think were possible. I had always felt somewhat protected. The reality is I had lucked into success often enough, I didn't know what I didn't know.
I love it when the right lens and the right skills change the game.
Happy New Year!
<abbr></abbr><abbr>J.D. Meiers last blog post..Growth Mindset Over Fixed Mindset</abbr>
Thanks for the great tips. Falling into ditches is no fun.
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Attract Readers - Make Your Blog A Safe Haven</abbr>
Indeed, ditches can be safe places sometimes. I like being in the dumps - especially when I know that it won;t last too long. I try to use it as an opportunity to recharge! I will try to remember your perspective of a ditch the next time I am in one - that might make it easier for me to get out :)
Hi JD,
Happy New Year !
So true - life is not about knowing everything but about knowing what we do not know, isn't it?
Hi Mare!
What a wonderful analogy - learning to fall in Martial Arts and teaching how to deal with flop jokes?? Metaphorically, I guess the ditches of life apply to many many places ...thank you so much for sharing that!
Hi Barbara,
You have been through so much in life, I guess you understand all about being affected by another person's baggage .... But what really amazes me is how much of that is so unintentional, really. It is always simplest when we take complete responsibility and decide our own actions, isn't it?
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Mayas last blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness</abbr>
Nowadays, I don't hang around in my ditches for too long. Life is too short! I find it more fun to be outside!
I like the idea of being prepared for ditches. Having the right tools and equipment will definitely come in handy! Thanks for the tip!
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Evelyn Lims last blog post..Past Life Memories In Hokkaido</abbr>
AND YES RUDYARD KIPLING'S POEM - IF , REALLY HELPED ME THROUGH THESE TIMES ... thanx kipling bhai !!
cheers.
ANKUR K.
<abbr></abbr><abbr>ankur kakkars last blog post..HE IS BACK AND HOW !!!</abbr>
The ditches...and engineering school - boy, can I relate!! I recall going off to college, all set to earn my engineering degree and take on the world. And then I ended up in an economics class, missed a couple of days early on - and and all of a sudden - our first test - and I failed miserably. Coming from high school, and having done really pretty good there - this was a major blow. First semester. Starting out with a failed test. It WAS a hard ditch to crawl out of...And one I didn't see the lesson in until many years later. The lesson was persevere, for me...
Anyway, you really bring up a great point - we will have ditches along the way. Being prepared for them does help them not seem so deep, and getting out is much easier. So, now I need to think about where the potential ditches are for me.
Congrats on getting memetales up and going - I'll be over to check it out!
And, thanks for the link here today, Maya - I really appreciate it very much!
Here's to a great year ahead for you and in all your endeavors!!
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Lances last blog post..And The Word Is…</abbr>
Welcome back! Isn't it funny how we dig so many of the ditches ourselves??? We should have learnt by now right ?? It got a lot easier for me as well - once I stopped blaming others and myself and just focused on getting out :)
Hi Ankur!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I wish you the very best - now and always. Just work hard, do your best and take responsibility for everything you do - things will work out just fine :) and you will learn a LOT in the meantime. Take care!! And yess - I LOVE Kipling's poem -"IF" :) - thank you for bringing that back to me !
Lance!
Thank you so so much for sharing your story! I do think a LOT has to do with the changed landscape when we move away from high school and get into a professional school ...I had done so very well academically so far that I could not fathom anything like that could ever happen! But things certainly got better - yes, perseverance was a big lesson for me too :)
And do check out Memetales and help spread the word please ;)
And you write with so much passion on your website - a lot of what I write is inspired by your posts - so it is an honor for me to link back to you ...so you keep on inspiring - okee ?? :)
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Mayas last blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness</abbr>
<abbr></abbr><abbr>ankur kakkars last blog post..HE IS BACK AND HOW !!!</abbr>
I always enjoy reading your posts. You do a wonderful job of sharing your experiences and making your point with them. I especially endorse this wisdom, "all the ditches have a little staircase leading back up."
Enthusiastic Blessings for 2009
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Tom Volkar / Delightful Works last blog post..A Guided Meditation for Authentic Expression</abbr>
You do have a lovely blog. Thank you for the invite ...I apologize for not getting there earlier :)
Hi Tom,
Thank you!
I wish you a wonderful 2009 as well!
I like your concept of ditchiness, certainly something we can all relate to.
The way the brain process learning and memory is actually very closely tied to failing.
If we fail at something, we get emotional or experience pain and it has an impact on our lives, hence a memory is laid down and the learning process begins. It is therefore essential we fail often (and fast) so our brains understand that what we are trying to learn is actually important and it can then attach significance to it. Anything with significance then gets a lot of attention from our brain and we get better at it.
As children we failed at everything all the time. We fell over all the time before we could walk, and even then it's years before we have any real coordination.
The only thing that's changed is that there is a stigma attached to failing as we get older.
Patrick
veryevolved.com
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Very Evolveds last blog post..How to generate an emotional response from your audience</abbr>
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Eric Hamms last blog post..Introducing The Blueprint Newsletter And A Few Other Cool Things</abbr>
Welcome to ThinkMaya. And thank you for the wonderful explanation. BTW, I love your blog and I will be back there to participate :)
What you say reminds me that I need to let my children fail - fast. I also need to help them figure out how to pick themselves up :) Is there a way you suggest I do this? I mostly follow "letting go" - I let them experiment and try things and when in trouble I "will point them in the right direction" so they can figure out what is right. Ofcourse, I have a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old, so I ain't seen nothing yet ;) ...do let me know if you have suggestions ...Thank you :)
Hi Eric!
hey, you guys are so cool, how could I not give you a mention?? All the best to the both of you - and am glad you are carrying that "Ditch Communication device" ;)
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Mayas last blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness</abbr>
As for your question:
With all forms of learning the human brain is brilliant at figuring things out for itself, but humans are even better at observing how others do things and mimicking their actions - no need for every Stone Age man to discover fire independently, all alone by themselves, much more efficient to copy what works!
Since I don't have kids, I think the best source of information on your question is not myself, but would would suggest instead that that you be the one learning from other parents and mimicking what you see works :)
Patrick
veryevolved.com
Thanks for sharing this story. I'd never thought about life in terms of ditches, and it's a useful concept.
I think the first time I fell in a ditch was when I failed my driving test. I'd never failed in anything before until then. So I know how you felt with the engineering paper. Awful! Now I can laugh about it (not until I took the test another two times till I passed though!) and even my most daredevil male friends admit I'm a good driver. So I guess I recovered, and am glad you have too. Thanks for a very sincere and authentic post.
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Daphnes last blog post..Interview: Lance from Jungle of Life</abbr>
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Still Life in Buenos Airess last blog post..Crossing the Andes</abbr>
I thought the story about the fortune teller was extremely interesting. Isn't it weird how sometimes just knowing these things seems to influence how we feel & act? Maybe that's what makes it "work", because it changes our actions. ;) I'm glad you got out of your ditch! :)
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Nathalie Lussiers last blog post..55 Green Budget Tips to Show Nature You Love Her</abbr>
Hey, it is really really nice to see you here after a while :)
It is so true - what you say about how what we know influences how we act ...but thankfully it did not pull me down in this case - it turns out that I am not THAT bad afterall ;)
But you made a very true point here ....I wonder what the solution to that is ...I always think a lot about how ignorance is really wonderful in so many situations!
Hope you are well!!
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Mayas last blog post..Preparing to Believe in Yourself: The Science of Ditchiness</abbr>
My first time visiting your blog. This is a great post. I think that it is particularly important right now as there are many people "in a ditch" with being out of work and perhaps being bored by this. I can see that your blog is a great resource!
<abbr></abbr><abbr>Amy Jewells last blog post..Is Hiring a Website Designer Stopping You?</abbr>